3.13.2008

Bear Fight

b7fc99452d90122247f3f4031d9baca2a43.jpg bearfight picture by nickcarter03



Bear 1: Honey.


Bear 2: ...


Bear 1: Hey, Honey.


Bear 2: ...


Bear 1: HONEY.


Bear 2: ...


Bear 1: AM I TALKING TO MYSELF HERE? AM I ON THE TOP OF A MOUNTAIN YELLING INTO A GAPING GOD DAMN VOID, BECAUSE THAT'S FUNNY, I THOUGHT I WAS IN MY LIVING ROOM THAT I PAY FOR.


Bear 2: Why are you yelling?


Bear 1: Have you not been hearing me? I have been trying to get your attention.


Bear 2: Maybe next time try getting up, walking into the next room, and talking to me face-to-face, in a normal tone of voice. Maybe try that next time. 


Bear 1: Ok, I guess another option would be for you not to act like everything in life is a test that I fail.


Bear 2: What is it you wanted, dear? There, is that supplicant enough?


Bear 1: Did you TiVO A Shot of Love With Tila Tequila?


Bear 2: ....Hmmmm?


Bear 1: Did you TiVO this week's episode of the television show A Shot of Love With Tila Tequila, which is my favorite show and also which I missed this week because I had to drive to damn Cooperville for a client meeting? And also which I asked you twice to make sure and TiVO it and then sent you a text message about fifteen minutes before the show started.


Bear 2: It's just occurred to me that if you put as much energy into your job as you do into reminding me to TiVO A Shot of Love With Tila Tequila, we might not have to put Ziploc bags in the dishwasher.


Bear 1: (walking away, muttering) This whole thing is a mistake.


Bear 2: You think I'M the mistake?


Bear 1: Oh, you have razor-sharp hearing all of a sudden.

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