I Dream in MadTV.

So part of my dream last night (You guys are interested in my dreams right? Good.) was a commercial for Kentucky Fried Chicken, narrated by Javier Bardem.


Open on shots of falling drumsticks, pats of butter melting into flaky biscuits. Minimalist banjo plucking in the background.

JAVIER BARDEM: They always say the same thing.  (mocking voice) "You don't have to do this. You don't have to order the extra crispy chicken pieces. You can order the regular, or the Cajun Spices."

A friendly KFC worker ladles gravy over mashed potatoes.
JAVIER BARDEM: They always say it. (mocking voice) "You don't have to order extra crispy." 

Kernels of fresh corn tumble onto a waiting plate.

JAVIER BARDEM: But I do. Of course I do.

(hiss of compressed air, a loud SQUAWK, a small body hits the floor)

KFC LOGO fades in


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